I’m in a dilemma!
I use photography to maintain a stable mental state… talk about playing with fire, and every now and again I reach an impasse where either my creativity is beyond my technical skills or my technical skills are driving me to evolve my creative ideas.
I recognise this is a state that everyone, from time to time, reaches in their artistic life and one which presents itself in different ways and different intensities. Artistic growing pains so to speak.
I am in that place! My passion was/is Street Photography, however, there are few aspects of photography I dislike, though, strangely fashion photography annoys me just now, I seem to see the same banal pointless images being paraded with the same banal posing, I need a muse I think.
I research (a lot) and draw on influences of many others to maintain a steady handle on where my passion is taking me, however, I’m not feeling a passion for anything just now, not just photography, anything! I ask these questions:
- Should I feel bad that I don’t want to even try to care? (rhetorical question)
- Has the caring been squashed from me or did I let it drip away? (pseudo rhetorical question)
- Should I be concerned with the fact that I don’t care that I don’t care? (open for discussion)
The last time I was moved to an emotional response was when I ran out of coffee, and that came out only as a ‘fuck it’, and that took two days to resolve….
So I ask myself if this is a chrysalis moment, the imminent formation of a new level of creative consciousness about to be unleashed, I want that to be true… or is this a moment of realisation that the joy and beauty of the world, my world, is void, and I should focus on rendering attention on inanimate objects, suggesting worth where there is none.
I realise that many people here are artists and it is rare for me to extend myself, opening myself up and ask for help, but I find that I am
I recognise that I am on a journey, one without a map, one without an end, that should scare me, excite me and infuse a passion to belong, but I find I am withdrawing to a point where I cannot take the next step because I do not know where to place the foot. (I so apologise for this metaphor, it’s really late and higher reasoning seems to have taken cognitive abilities to bed, another really shit metaphor). In short, it seems that I do not care, I do not give a shit but I want too!
- Anyone been there?
- Anyone tried to break the funk, and importantly, had a measure of success?
- Does anyone care?
This is a journey, however, I think I need someone to give me a proverbial kick up the arse, metaphorically or philosophically speaking of course!
The floor is open to anyone, from artists to armchair philosophers….